I know it can be an extreme shot to the pride when you have to let your guard down and show that you're human. I mean, it being possible for you to get sick is so shocking that sometimes I'm a little blown away {sarcasmmm}, but I don't mind.
And it's ironic, because about a week ago, we planned on spending an evening together, and of course, I came down with an extremely painful migraine. The kind where I can't be in any kind of light, noises make me cringe, and all I want to do is curl up into a ball as I hide under a blanket.
Instead of just peacing out {which I wouldn't have blamed you for}, you sat down with me, we cuddled up, and you turned on the TV without sound on. I appreciate that so much, by the way. You waited the pain out with me, trying to make me as comfortable as possible. And you'd do it again, without fail.
You are such a comfort for me. AND, speaking of which, you totally soothed my migraine away. You were, and are, incredibly considerate. I know that I can be around you and be safe. Safe from migraines, safe from the craziness around me, and safe to let my own guard down, even if, in retrospect, it sounds pathetic to remember that I literally hid under a blanket from a migraine for roughly 2 hours. But you were with me the whole time.
That's how I want you to feel about me. I want you to know that whenever you're feeling bad, you can count on me. I won't leave your side, and when sickness changes our plans, I could never blame you for it. {Because that would be SILLY.}
All I want is for you to be okay and to see that smile back on your face. When you're feeling bad, you always mention that I probably think you look unattractive. While I don't find your sickness in any remote way good {because I'd rather you be healthy and not upset}, you couldn't be more wrong about it.
You and I have both seen each other at our best and worst. {Well, at least you have. You've definitely seen me at my worst.} And you know what? I will always be attracted to you, sickness or not. So you make that point clear in your head, mister.
Additionally, there are never "ruined plans". We can plan all we want, and it'll be fantastic, but the most joy I get is merely when I'm with you. Doesn't matter what we're doing. {Although if someone sat us in a room, tied us up in chairs, and played Twilight on an infinite loop... yeah then you could say neither of us would be enjoying ourselves. Yikes.}
But the point is. I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU. See, I put that in all capitals because it's something I'd probably yell at you when you tell me "I'm sorry I'm so boring tonight because I worked all day and have a migraine" or "I'm sorry I'm sick and we didn't get to watch an episode of a show that won't magically disappear if we don't watch it tonight".
Because you are not allowed to apologize for any of that. You are the love of my life and any time with you, whether it's some fun outing or a date night in or a night where one of us is sick and needs taking care of you - all of it is time I cherish. It's all a part of the life that I'm going to accept when we get married. I can't physically be there for you all the time, but I can sure as heck try. {And of course I'll always be there emotionally/mentally/in-love-ly.}
I love you so much.
yours,
m.g.e.
No comments:
Post a Comment