last, first kiss.

Dearest soulmate,
   It's practically here! Officially one day before our 2 year anniversary. {Give or take multiple hours where it's not almost 3am. Whoops.} I'm not sure that I'll post again before our anniversary, because I have things to do beforehand.
   No worries, I'm making sure you get a nice card {cough BOOK cough} slash of course my nails need to actually look good for once. And maybe I'll write on here more later. Not sure yet. I also like the intimacy of a handwritten book {like I did before this} so we'll see.

   But let's get back to that whole {almost two years!!!} thing.
   It's amazing. That's 730 days. Not much in comparison to how many more years/days we have ahead of us, but it's so incredible.
   When I was younger, I vowed that I wouldn't just date around. I would really strive to find a good relationship and stick to it. Granted, I didn't really know what love was back then. So I got mixed up. {A lot.}
   But I think - well, I know God had a giant hand in things. Maybe it's because He knew that me making that "vow" would preserve something special that would eventually lead into our relationship. Or maybe it was about showing me that true love really does exist. Whatever the true reason - He had you in mind.
   
   Something that a lot of people are shocked to hear? I'd never kissed anyone until you. Something they're even more shocked about? You waited 20 years to find the right girl to give your first kiss away to. 
   I'm incredibly honored that you did that. I'm amazed that someone like you found me and fell in love. I don't even feel like I'm worth the astounding amount of love you put forth, but believe me, I love you so much.
   I would say that I couldn't love you more, but I know that as the days, years, even decades go by, I know that my love for you will grow more than I'd ever thought possible.
   
   When I started to like you, way back in 2012, I gave everything up to God. I told Him that if I wasn't meant to be with you {because I was used to rejection by boys}, that He just take away my feelings. I knew that I liked you way too much already to be able to deal with more rejection. {Mind you, this was at the beginning of us working together - maybe even before we worked together.} 
   But those feelings never went away. You would walk into a room and I could barely look up without getting butterflies. That amazing smelling cologne would waft into the room and I'd have to pace myself.
   I was fascinated by you. You were, and are, everything I've ever wanted in a man. And there's the thing - you're a man. Not a boy, like the people I'd previously pursued. You not only were ready for a serious relationship, but you also immediately treated me like a lady.
   I almost thought you were too good to be true. Was I dreaming? Nope. You're literally that amazing.
   
   You're not just my "other half". You're what completes me. Because sometimes people can have an other half who doesn't fully complete them.
   As soon as we admitted we loved each other, immediately I felt myself changing for the better. A lot of it has to do with the fact that you make me truly happy. I've never smiled so big as when I'm with you.
   I don't know if you've heard them say it, but all my friends and family know that we're meant to be - that we're the perfect couple. We just found each other and everything clicked. They've noticed that about us.
   One of my favorite comments on our relationship was that someone had never seen you smile like that before. I'd like to think that I've made you happy like that.
   
   I really hope you know that I've never been this in love. I never even got excited about having a wedding and could actually see it happening before you. You've brought this whole new level of happiness to my life that I can't even explain. I feel like I don't even have a good enough vocabulary to describe it.
   You know how to make my tears stop, you know how to push my buttons {for fun}, you know how to make me smile - you know everything about me. I've opened up to you more than anyone else because I actually want to share my life with you.
   When we get married, I can't wait to come home and see your smiling face, and just envelop myself in your arms. That's when I'll really feel at home. 
    I don't know how you did it, but it's like you put me under a spell. I'm infatuated with you, in the best way possible. To feel that and receive those feelings back from the one you love... that's really the best feeling in the world.
   
   So tomorrow morning, we're going to see each other, I'm going to hug you as tight as I can, kiss you because you deserve to be kissed as often as possible, and we're going to go on an amazing adventure. It'll be amazing because we'll be together. 
   I'm so beyond excited. {This week couldn't have gone slower, to be honest.}
   This whole year was filled with ups and downs {in other areas of life - but we've been amazing.} but there's been one constant: that's you.
   I mean, I've made mistakes {that beautiful promise ring...sigh} and had my freak outs {thanks, school} but you've been so patient and understanding. I love that aspect about you, and I also love that everyone around you knows that fact too. {My family's pretty much obsessed with you, by the way. They know you're an amazing gentleman who is the perfect match for me.}
   You have this character that makes me want to be a better person. You love me and constantly tell me to not focus on what I consider imperfections. You've taught me so much. And we have so many years to come.
   Tomorrow is another year to add to our wonderful, exciting, beautiful relationship. Every year after that, I'm just going to love you more and more. {So be prepared.}

   You're my best friend and you are my soulmate. We've got 2 years down - and an eternity to go.
  
   I love you so much, Brandon Daniel Morris. Happy {less than 24 hours till our} 2nd anniversary.

yours then, now, and for the rest of my life,
Meredith Grace Essmann