speechless

   I'll never forget that incredible night when you poured out your feelings for me. We'd been best friends up until that point - we simply got each other. I could say something weird, and you'd completely understand what I meant.
   Of course, I was already in love with you at that point (and, I would find out later, you felt the exact same way), so I made every attempt to impress you. Being an incredible dork, and wanting to make you like me more, I called us "Best Friends Forever And Ever (BFFAE)".

   But then came a day that we didn't understand each other. And that went on for a few days (though it felt like an eternity). I couldn't express clearly enough that this misunderstanding was quite the opposite of how I felt.
   So, like any crazy person, I called you. My heart was absolutely racing. I thought I would die. And then I got sent to voicemail, and as my sister paused The Office episode playing in the background (where Jim confesses his love for Pam) and encouraged ((demanded)) that I leave a message, I took a dangerous step.

   As I recall, my message went a little something like, "Hey, so.. uh... I'm really sorry and this has been a huge misunderstanding... and um... I don't want to be fighting anymore.. because I... I really like you. In a big way. I don't know if you feel the same way, but I just.. wanted to let you know. So hopefully that uh, clears things up." [Add 10x more awkwardness and lots of nervous laughing and that's the gist of it.]
   Oh, the argument didn't end there. But it was a step towards something great.
   In September of 2012, you asked if you could come over so we could talk. You seemed to be in a much better mood than I had been (color me shocked). You told me you were taking me somewhere secret.
   We arrived at church, and I was surprised. Then you got out a blanket, and said that you remembered how much I talked about star gazing, so we could sit in the field (orrrr the drier parking lot) and do just that.
   And time stopped. You explained your side of the situation and explained you had been... jealous. You drew out the sentence that made my heart stop, but eventually, you said it:

"I'm in love with you."

   I honestly had no idea what to do with myself. ("Do I hug him? SHOULD WE KISS? Do I cry happy tears? Do I scream? Because I feel like screaming. I'll just-") 

"Hah. Well... ditto."

   And then I mentally slapped myself multiple times. Ditto?! That's the best I could come up with? THAT is what I'll have to tell our future kids?

   But you brushed past my awkwardness - accepted it, even. And you recovered the whole night by making incredibly romantic gestures and being a gentleman and just absolutely adorable.

   

   And you continue to be the non-awkward one in our duo - of which I am eternally grateful. So you conquered two things that night: 1) the inability of an awkward girl to end up with a gentleman and 2) the Friend Zone. So in all seriousness: congratulations to you. You're the best.

I love you.

yours,

m.g.e.